i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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