Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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