Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
