Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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