i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
