so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have post one night stand depression
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