it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
