This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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