my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
