New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
