yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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