My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
