I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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