Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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