Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
