I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
