Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
