They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
