How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
