Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
