i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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