that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is my gift to your gina
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
