Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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