Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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