I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
