Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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