I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
