so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
