If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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