Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
