I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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