Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
