I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
