Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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