Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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