i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
