EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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