Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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