Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
