He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
