The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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