i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
