You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I seem to have left my pride at pride
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
