i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
