Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
farters have to be the big spoon...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
