the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
