Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
