I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
