smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
