Michael Bay diarrhea
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
