If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't deserve a penis
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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