saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
